Archive for April, 2006
April 29th, 2006
I have always been told that I am a perfectionist, at least when it comes to design. Move that pixel here. Add a little more padding there. Change the background color everywhere (so slightly, I only notice the difference). You know. The “devil in the details” discussion.
So in the never-ending pursuit to tweak this site until my head spins, I have added random-generated header images as well as hundreds of thousands of variations of the original header. Ok, fine. Only ten at this point. But I’m working on it.
Go ahead. Refresh those pages you are reading so intently (f5). Leave a comment (or three) about my thought-provoking posts. Visit often. And most of all, recommend Spectorbrain to all of your friends, family and complete strangers. They are all very important parts of my target demographic, which is everyone.
Thank you for your time and utter devotion to my ramblings.
Your humble pixel-pusher, Spectorbrain.
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Design, Site News
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April 28th, 2006
There is a part of historical record that goes largely ignored. But the impact on generations of sleepless, unmotivated slackers is apparent. I am referring to the almost god-like status of Mr. Ralph Baer. So, just what did he do that was so important in the course of human evolution? (drum-roll, please)…. Mr. Baer was the inventor of the home video game system. Oh, now I’ve got your attention.
Yes, Ralphy (as I like to call him) spent most of his life around televisions and as early as 1951, knew there was a way to play a game on a TV, not just watch it. “Designing a TV set was an easy task for Ralph, and he wanted to add a new concept that his boss did not understand: playing games on the television set. The video game concept was born, but could not be implemented since the boss refused the idea.”
Who ever that numbnut was that said no to ol’ Ralphy has probably regretted it the last 55 years. I bet you he’s thinking about it right now as he greets customers at his local Wal-Mart. His boss, a 21-year old college dropout, has warned him before about his sudden William Shatner outbursts of “PONG!”
However, there has been some controversy. Willy Higginbotham also claimed that he should have the title of “Home Video Game Awesome Inventor Guy”. Why? I really have no idea. But, my pal Ralphy doesn’t take this assault on his legacy lightly. He fights back with an onslaught of words and sets the record straight. Go, Ralphy, Go.
But, enough about history. How does this affect you? Why are you a better person because of Ralph Baer? Simple. You’re a less motivated, non-athletic person who rarely sees the sun and could have been a lot richer if you just saved those quarters in high school. But your hand-eye coordination is off the charts.
As you ponder this, enjoy some Pong fun that is sure to brighten your day.
Enjoy. It’s time for Spectorbrain to get back Mario Brothers.
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Culture
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April 27th, 2006
It’s seven in the morning. You’ve been up late working, partying, watching movies, doing “the bump”, etc. It doesn’t really matter. You’re just exhausted. You roll out of bed, get dressed, and sort-of-run to the bus stop without a drop of caffeine in you. And as you wait in the cold for this massive, unstable vehicle to pick you up, people drive by gazing and thinking, “That poor bastard.”
Finally, the bus arrives. You sit down in your seat. All you want to do is close your eyes. Then it begins…
- “How’s it goin’?”
- “Boy, it’s going to be a rainy one today.”
- “Did you see about that bear attack in Wisconsin yesterday? A real shame, that is.”
- “You’re looking tired. Late night with the ladies? Heh? Heh?…Heh?”
Whatever expletive you mutter to yourself, the sentiment is the same. Why me?
Well, have no fear. Through many years of lab testing with rats and little toy buses, I have discovered the top ten things you can do to get the bus driver to minimize their long-winded ways.
- Pretend to be asleep. This really works well if you occasionally snore, especially the loud, nasally kind where you clear your throat often.
- Change the topic of conversation to the geo-political ramifications of immigration and border security and how it inversely affects the storyline(s) of “CSI: Miami”.
- Look out the window and randomly scream, “Oh, my god!”. Then pause for a second and say, “Nevermind. Thought I saw a [insert something extremely passive, like a bird or a leaf].”
- Put on your headphones and rock out with your new iPod SuperNano, the new MP3 player that’s so small, it doesn’t really exist.
- Drop a quarter (anything else that rolls) and “encourage” it towards the back of the bus. React surprisingly (with hand gestures) as you follow it.
NOTE: This will only work if there are other passengers on the bus. Otherwise, the driver will just talk louder.
- Point out the woman (or man) in the car next to you and say to the driver, “Damn that’s hot. I wouldn’t kick her/him out of my bed. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Know what I mean.” For an extra punch, you can always add, “Hey, you interested in a threesome?”
- Seriously reconsider that decision not to buy a second car. $3 per gallon costs a lot less than psychotherapy.
- Scope out the passenger situation. Find the most verbose of the bunch and ask their opinion of any point that was just made. Shake your head in agreement a few times and gentle bow out.
NOTE: This technique will also work in your favor if there is no one else on the bus. The driver will just think you’re a wacko.
- Open the window and proclaim, “Spectorbrain lives!”
- It really doesn’t matter what you do. They’re going to keep talking anyway.
Follow any of this well-researched advice and you’ll be kicked off the bus so fast, the talkative bus driver will be the least of your worries. And in that moment of panic, take a moment to reflect on the wise words of Bugs Bunny, “Frankly doc, crunch crunch, it could be you.”
Spectorbrain has left the building.
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DISCLAIMER: I do hold the highest respect for our community’s public transportation personnel. After all, it can’t be easy to navigate a “massive, unstable vehicle” through a maze of inconsiderate, really bad drivers hauling around a bunch of grumpy people who are unhappy about going to work or unhappy about coming home. From all us grumpy people and inconsiderate drivers, thank you.
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Ramblings
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April 26th, 2006
We’ve all had this discussion. Maybe it was over a beer or, dare I say it, a hot dog. “Why are there 6 (or 10) hot dogs in the package and only 8 buns?”
Simple answer. Butchers and bakers are afraid of change. I don’t know, maybe it was the way they grew up. “Why can’t we have 10 buns in a package? But I don’t want to be a butcher. No, not the belt! Nooooo!!!!!”
Probably not. In my brief on-line fast food travels, however, I have discovered some of the lesser-known wonders of the All-American Hot Dog.
Thanks to the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council for their continued support.
And what does any of this have to do with brains? Come on people, we’re talking about hot dogs.
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Ramblings
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About Spectorbrain
Spectorbrain is a stimulating discussion of web & interactive design experiences, techniques, critiques and ramblings with a bit of humor thrown in the mix.
In his other life, Jason Spector is an experienced web and interactive designer who quotes old Tex Avery and Chuck Jones cartoons just a little too much.
Contact Spectorbrain
spector(at)
spectorbrain(dot)com
Random headers add intrigue to Spectorbrain
